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Exploring the Depths: Meeting My Higher Self

AI image of a body outlined in gold light

At the start of any new shift in one's reality, there is always something that serves as a catalyst.

One such catalyst for me happened in 2018 while living in Portland, Oregon. At that time I viewed myself as an atheist, or agnostic at most. I did my best to meditate every day since my therapist told me it would help with my anxiety disorder. I followed her advice and picked a random meditation every day on Insight Timer and did it.

Most of the time, I fell asleep or just relaxed. But of course, in this story, something different happened.

I had chosen a "Meet Your Higher Self" guided meditation and began to listen to it while sitting on my balcony. It had me visualize sitting in a room waiting for my higher self to walk in. At this point, I wasn't even sure what a higher self was let alone what it would look like.

When my higher self walked into the "room" I was hit with a force of unconditional love. It hit me like a shock wave and I instantly fell to my knees. I began sobbing because I was overwhelmed with the fact that what was before me was me...but in pure form.

My higher self was giant, maybe 12-15 feet tall, and simply had a golden light body. I saw no facial features or clothes, only bright golden light. It was humanoid but beyond that unrecognizable.

Eventually, I stood up and both myself and my higher self sat down. In the meditation, I was told that my higher self would come and merge with me. When my higher self did so I felt a connection to a thought I had as a child.

As a child, I used to sense/feel that the "real" me couldn't fill up my whole body, and it was like I was wearing a flesh suit that was too big. When my higher self merged, I felt that same sensation. The human me or even just the soul piece I am currently experiencing couldn't fill up my higher self light body.

At the same time, I was also given the knowledge that I'm just a piece or part of a whole, and this higher self I was meeting was the full version of me.

When I came out of the meditation I still felt my higher self light body around me. That feeling lasted for several days. During that time I knew I had to change my beliefs and how I viewed reality. I began scouring YouTube and the internet for any information on what I had experienced.

This simple guided meditation that I had chosen at "random" ended up becoming a catalyst for my awakening. I stopped choosing meditations at random and sought to have other experiences.

While I lost track of the exact meditation I used in this experience, I was inspired to write one myself and give it away for free for joining my mailing list. So many of the meditations I write are based on my own experiences. I'm so glad I'm finally writing them all out.

-Joy Brown

Founder of Astronaut of Life

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